


There and Back Again

by Songblade (Kairelite)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Gen, I wrote this in two hours and yeah, It's a one-shot what do you expect, Mollymauk Tealeaf Lives, My First AO3 Post, Resurrection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 01:07:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17736125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kairelite/pseuds/Songblade
Summary: An argument beside the Glory Run Road.





	There and Back Again

**Author's Note:**

> AKA: Molly yells at a bird.

“Is it better if I stay dead?”

The question is posed to a bird, standing in its sable black glory on a pole that he can only assume was a grave marker. Most people wouldn’t pose questions to birds of this manner, but he's never been most people by a long shot, and at this point he’s desperate. There’s dirt buried under his nails, and he can still taste it when he runs his tongue over his teeth.

The raven, of course, doesn’t speak any words that he can understand, though he feels a burst of suffocating nostalgia in his throat at the concept. Instead it croaks and continues to stare at him with eyes that hold too much intelligence than is comfortable. It doesn’t move from its perch, looking for all intents and purposes like it is unaware of how much uncanny valley he’s getting from it. He knows better.

He chokes out a laugh that sounds more like a sob. “Gods, don’t give me that bullshit. This is your fucking fault, you know that? If you’d’ve done your job correctly, this wouldn’t have happened for the _second time_. I wouldn’t have to make this choice. Just let me stay there and be done with it.”

_‘That isn’t how it works and you know it.’_ An echo of a memory, half formed and fleeting. He can still feel dark, silky hair between his fingertips, feathers rustling as pale lips murmur into his ear. _‘If she wanted you to stay dead after he tried to cheat the cycle, she would’ve made sure it happened before you ever existed.’_

He turns away from the raven and glares forcefully at the hole in the ground. Six feet long, just deep enough to keep its contents from being picked at by scavengers, both beast and humanoid alike. A rush job, and he can’t blame them. The tree that towers over it by nearly three times his height does a good job of hiding the marker from the road, but definitely not enough to hide it from anyone with even a hint of curiosity, never mind the fact that he’s still not sure how long it’s been since the blessed thing was planted. It could’ve been years, could’ve been months depending on who exactly put it there. He’s seen miracles before, and he wouldn’t put it past them to waste one on the memory of a corpse.

_Your name is Mollymauk Tealeaf. You are part of the Mighty Nein._

The note burns in his hand.

“I could just fucking leave, you realise. I don’t have any responsibility to them anymore, and they’d definitely prefer it if an old ghost didn’t come back to haunt them. I could be shallow enough to fuck off to a corner of the empire and pretend there’s nothing left. They wouldn’t question it, they know what my policy was.”

The raven croons, warbling and nearly mocking in nature. The challenge is clear. ‘Then why don’t you?’

“I am _not_ a brave person, Vax’ildan,” he snaps. “If I go back, I’m going to die again someday. I can guarantee I won’t be as lucky a third time. By all accounts, it’s safer for me to disappear and pretend the Mighty Nein never existed, or at least that I never knew them.”

The bitter flavours of the lies stay on his tongue even after he spits them out.

_You fell in battle, trying to save three of our other members. We’re sorry we can’t revive you at this time. But you’ve come back before._

It took him the better part of fifteen minutes to get the letters to stop shifting on the page long enough that he could read it, and his newly beating heart almost stopped again as he did so. He needed them to move on, to make sure that the others were okay. The note contradicted all of that.

In a flourish of wings, the raven leaps from the marker and settles itself on his shoulder. He can feel the weight of its judgement settling heavy on his shoulders.

_‘If I could go back to my family, I would. Don’t throw away your chance if you get it.’_

_You are missed._

He was gone, but not forgotten. That makes all the difference.

He pulls the marker out of the ground with a shower of earth. It’s hefty, longer than his normal weapons, but he thinks he can make it work. The Unpleasant One did, anyhow. If she could do it, it’s just a way he can one-up her when he sees her again.

_You can find us again in Zadash. Go to the Evening Nip, order a drink and tell the barkeeper ‘I have no coin, but I can offer many gifts.” Hopefully the Gentleman will keep you there until we come back._

“You’re coming with me, you know,” he quips to the bird. “Need your attitude to make sure I don’t just change my mind and run away to Tal’Dorei or something.”

The bird just ruffles its feathers in what he can only guess is an approximation of a shrug.

_We’re sorry we weren’t strong enough._

“Alright. To Zadash, then.”

Mollymauk Tealeaf takes the first of many steps towards his home.

_Please return to us._

_-Caleb Widogast, of the Mighty Nein._

_P.S: If we find anyone wearing your coat since we left it with you, we will probably murder them. I’m sorry about that._


End file.
